Good Affliction

Depression is not from God. Panic Attacks are not from God. Anxiety is not from God. Nightmares are not from God. Sleep Paralasys is not from God. God is not cruel to his children!

I used to blame God so much for my panic attacks and not fitting in like a regular person in normal life. But it isn't His fault. I have asked Him to just take the panic attacks away, he could have, but for some reason He's allowed me to go through them. I believe if I was not afflicted I won't seek God, much like David, and if i did not face fear I would never know how to overcome it, I could also have been reaping in the sin I'd sown.

God wants me to believe what He says, and it's taken me a long time to believe the Bible and His promises. I used to say verses over and over, God gave me a sound mind not a spirit of fear, that is true but I wasn't around the Lord's Presence enough to believe the reality of it. Amazingly, I have never seen God more willing to move in my life than when I was broken, and I am glad he is close to a broken heart, and a broken heart He will not despise, nor will he destroy a broken reed.

I am convinced from other peoples lives that know God, also from myself, that without being severely broken one possess's no power. In brokeness we learn that His strength is perfect in our weakness, and in brokeness it is the essence of humility. Humility with faith in love seems to be the only place God moves on my behalf, and He knows when I puff up and fake it.


The more one goes through life without God, and the more one leave battle scars on the heart, the more one will despise God for the scars. That is why we have to guard our heart with all diligence. The tongue has to power of life and death and we should watch what words of death are being spoken, I think that even words of doubt are words of death.

If I blame God for anything I allowed a seed to be planted in my heart that I never resolved, and I will grow bitter towards God. Some things I just do not understand in life, but I can't blame the only Righteous One. Without the Joy of the Lord I have no strength, no motivation, no fight in me to get through a storm. In my own power I can do nothing.

Self help books and nice and all, but books and friends can not drive away evil spirits or mend a wounded heart, although they can bring cheer to the heart, they can not mend it - only the manifested presence of Jesus can. Because a bandaid is not the same as stitches.

If I was never broken by my own mistakes and God allowing it, I would have never sought God. I am thankful for my suffering and for my sin because I know that without it I would never have sought God nor never knew him without affliction. I would have never believed or felt or known the invisible manifestation of Gods glory if I had not sought him in affliction.

Affliction is a good thing if it breaks one enough to seek God. "A seed does not grow unless it dies", that's a verse that we have to live to get the revelation of. I would rather eat corn-bread in the woods with the Glory of Jesus than have a mansion on a hill with none. :)